WHEREAS, the 76th annual meeting of the American Society of Mammalogists was held at the University of North Dakota, Grand Forks, ND, on 15-19 June 1996; und
WHEREAS, the entire North Dakota American Legion mustered to greet the American Society of Mammalogists with a rousing parade and marching band; und
WHEREAS, "The Valley" is so flat that it is represented on topographic maps with contour lines that suspiciously resemble the outline of highway overpasses; und
WHEREAS, the echolocation symposium was accompanied by clutter, white noise, and a signal to noise ratio that made everyone think a herd of bison was footdrumming on the roof; und
WHEREAS, we arrived worried about icicles and left having learned of piscicles; und
WHEREAS, the double dose of macaroni and cheese, and blue jello, provided ample samples for the assembly of noted toxicologists; und
WHEREAS, the flying sanguivores sent confused chiropterists running for anabats and mist nets when in fact the mosquitoes made it clear why this is known as the Red River Valley; und
WHEREAS, we appreciated the souvenir plastic shot glasses and Styrofoam demitasse cups provided at the refreshment tables; und
WHEREAS, all the bull at the Business Meeting attracted an authentic toreador; und
WHEREAS, we were all relieved that ASM President Baker did not reveal what he was actually doing that night in an Arkansas watermelon patch; und
WHEREAS, the sofas in the ballroom were so comfortable that future local committees are instructed to provide them at all activities; und
WHEREAS, each registrant received so many letters from Jo Coutts that we expect to receive three credit hours for the correspondence course; und
WHEREAS, ASM President Baker und UND President Baker are pleased to report that as of 7:30 PM all UND ground squirrels are safe and continue to taunt mammalogists as they walk by; und
WHEREAS, whomever said the only good thing to come out of North Dakota is 1-94 obviously did not stay long enough to appreciate the fine weather, excellent facilities, and generous hospitality; und
WHEREAS, the Continuing Education division, the Local Committee, and the Chair, Bob Seabloom, were helpful, gracious, and efficient;
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that the American Society of Mammalogists expresses thanks to the University, Local Committee, and Bob for a memorable and productive meeting.